Ok, focus. Focus. Focuuuuus—
“One!” Go!
Hahaha, I kicked it faster than anyone else. I’ve totally got this. This secret competition that nobody else knows about but really they all know about it. They do.
“Two!” Kick!
Hahaha, still the fastest. I peek around, smirking at the two other black belts who failed to kick that target as fast as me. No one can beat me! I react to sound! I am lightning fast! Watch my reflexes! Hahah—
“Three!” Aaaand Roundhouse!
Ok…They caught on. Gotta go faster this time. Gotta be faster, the fastest. Gotta be faster…
Competition. It’s a beautiful thing. It creates a drive, that little push that you need to get things done. To get things done well. It’s amazing what a little competition can do. Even if it’s a complete secret to everybody else.
I’ve always been a good friend to the secret competition, the competition that you know about and therefore assume that everybody else does too. Like when you’re taking a test and you just have to finish it faster than the person next to you (and hope you get a decent grade on it too), and you imagine that they’re thinking the same thing even if they’re not.
That’s the best kind there is.
I like all of the maniacal laughter in first section. Actually, I really like the first section, it has a lot of dialogue and is very "show, don't tell"-y. The second section sounds kind of like an essay, though. Also, I'd say it's a bit too obvious that your narrative is about competition, maybe you should try revealing that later in the essay or revealing it in a more subtle way.
ReplyDeleteI can really get to know you through your writing, you're good at that. I like how you sort of define what competition means to you. I also like how you describe all of your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI thinks it is well written in the collage style format and uses the dialogue very well.
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